Metal Gear Solid 3: The Document
by JechtSphere
Summary: Story about me, Snake and others in a comedyaction FanFic.


**_MGS: The Document_**

**Jecht(Me)**

**Snake**

**Natalie**

**Michelle**

**Jennifer**

**Lucas**

**Jacob (J)**

**all the characters are real people besides Snake.**

The year was 2004,I had been training with my two best friends Michelle and Natalie to become mercenary's, it was our dream or rather mine, I got a call from snake who had been retired since the big shell incident 4 years ago but he had some information about a new metal gear in development and I instantly volunteered but snake said that we should all go.

Snake talked to Otacon a close friend from various other missions he had done and asked him if he could fly us to the location since he was the most experienced flyer but where was the location we were to go?

Jecht: So where are we headed snake?

Snake: Russia, we've got information on the new metal gear there and Lucas is in total control of it all, we'll enter here(100 miles below Russia) and we'll follow this river until we get to the lining of Russia, it's going to be heavily guarded so we'll split up and meet here(points to place just above Russian line).

Jecht: Ok so when do we leave?

Snake: Saturday, we have three days to prepare so be ready!

Jecht: You I will and I'll speak with Michelle and Natalie to fill them in.

Snake: Ok good, I'm going down to the armory for some supplies, I'll call you Friday night and we'll leave early Saturday morning.

Jecht: Roger

both exit

Jecht loads up his gear with his Socom pistol, Fa©mas machine gun and his knife along with other supplies and heads out to meet with Michelle and Natalie and tells them the details and they head off to talk with snake and get ready to board the plane.

Saturday morning 3:46 A.M.

The team boards the plane and waits patiently for 15 hours to get to the drop point.

Jecht: We're almost there, you girls ready?

Girls: Ready(they say confidently)

Jecht: you snake?

Snake: I'm always ready kid!

While Jecht waited he sharpened his knife, the girls competed to see who could take apart and put back together their guns the fastest and Snake slept...

group had finally gotten within 70 miles of the drop point so they all loaded up their gear and strapped on they're parachutes, finally one at a time they leaped off the plane, the wind started kicking up and pushed everyone at a bit of a distance from each other, they all drew they're parachutes with no problem and landed, snake and Jecht land 10 feet of each other but they had no idea how far Michelle and Natalie were.

Jecht tried to contact them by radio but no one answered so I figured they must of been damaged in the jump.

Jecht: Damn...so what now Snake?

Snake: We head to the meeting point as planned!

Jecht: but we have to...

Snake: listen they know where to go so they'll be fine ok.

Jecht: Yea you right...ok you got everything lets move!

13 miles away from Jecht and Snakes location, both Michelle and Natalie are on the ground and both rise up at the same time

Michelle: Hey you ok?

Natalie: yea you?

Michelle: Yea but the radio is out, so we can't contact Jecht or snake, so lets go we're not safe just staying here we've got to move to the meeting point.

Natalie: Right

The girls move through the dark jungle, and spot a long deep stream of water

Natalie: well we gotta cross...dammit!

Michelle: yea hmm looks that way...well walk slow and steady we don't want anything biting us because of any sudden moves.

they slowly walk through the stream and make it to the other side...but as they start walking they both see something move from the corner of they're eye...and they both jump opposite ways to avoid the crushing jaws of a crocodile

Michelle: damn...he wants a piece of this...well he'll get it!

Michelle talks out her pistol and pulls the trigger multiple times and killing it

Natalie: I hope the animal right group doesn't find out about you killing that poor defenseless crocodile!

Michelle: Ha we have more important things to worry about than those idiots...lets go!

Meanwhile snake and Jecht were walking in a very crowded area and heard multiple guards coming

Snake: Damn...looks around get down

snake hides behind a tree and Jecht jumps in the water and hides there...Jecht could feel something swimming around in there so he took out his knife and dove his hand in the water multiple times until it didn't move, he then he saw it was an alligator which he hated so he cut it's head off and carved out the inside of it and put it on his head and lowered himself back in the water

Snake: Oh my god that guy is sick!

guards approach

Guard 1: They're here somewhere search the entire area!!

Group of guards: Yes Sir!!!

a group of 8 guards systematically searched and drew closer to snake so snake loaded up his gun

Snake: What the hell is Jecht doing...hiding and letting me do all the work...hmm....what the...?!?!?

Guard 1: Hey and keep your eyes open...there are Alligators in that lake, you look away and he'll drag you right under.

suddenly Jecht pops out of the water with machine gun in hand blasting all the solders away with the crocodiles head still on his.

Jecht: You want me here I am mother fucker's!!!Gahhhhhhhh!!!

Jecht tears off the croc's head off his own and him and snake converse before moving on

Snake: what the hell...now that was damn sneaky hahahaha!

Jecht: hahahaha yea I had to do something so I did well it all looks clear, lets go.

Jecht and snake move past a large tree covered with brush

Natalie and Michelle continue walking and find an open dirt road which was pointed in the direction they were to go.

Natalie: Damn I'm hungry...where the hell is all the food?

Michelle: it all got lost when we jumped out of the plane...so we either eat nothing or eat whatever is in this jungle...

Natalie: and that is...

Michelle: animals of course hahaha!

Natalie: ok hmm...hey whats that!

the girls stare off into the distance and see a large vehicle in the distance.

Natalie: oh crap trouble...hurry over there.

they both dive in a hole in the ground and the truck stops in front of them and a couple of the terrorists come out and conversed.

Lucas: so have you found Snake and Jecht...you better have I'm not in a good mood!

Solder: um....uh...heh...sorry sir we've came close...I...

before he could say anymore the solder had a hole in his head

Lucas:hmm excuses if you can't do it I'll send someone who can...Jen.

a women exits out of the vehicle in very provocative clothing with a rifle strapped on

Jen:yes Lucas?

Lucas: I want you to go and find snake and when you find him...kill both of them...and don't come back until he's dead is that clear!

Jen: pfft...fine they're as good as dead.

Natalie: oh no we gotta warn them!

Michelle: yea but how.

Jen and Lucas both get back into the vehicle and leave...Michelle and Natalie both rise to they're feet...and look around in a circular motion

Mich and Nat: oh fuck.......a mine field!

Nat: well no wonder there is a perfectly blown hole in the ground!

luckily they see a tree near by and leap toward it and just missing the mines they climb up it and onto the other side where there were no more mines...but suddenly the branch breaks and both fall to the ground and go unconscious

As snake and Jecht walk up to the brush which was blocking the they're way they heard gunfire off in the distance.

Jecht: you hear that...what it must be 2©3 miles ya think snake?

Snake: um WTF are you talking about they're like 50 feet away firing at us and your standing in the middle of it all oblivious!!

Jecht nearly gets shot but snake pulls him behind a tree

Snake: what the hell is your problem kid?

Jecht: um...hahaha...hic hey lookey I got a gun!

Snake: oh god kill me now...your drunk!

Jecht: oh yea ya wanna fight?

Snake: we are getting shot at and you wanna fight?!?!!

snake punches Jecht knocking him out cold and props him up against a tree...1 hour later he wakes up...

Jecht: huh...what. happened?

Snake: you fell asleep

Jecht; well all I remember is myself acting like a fool and you punching me in the face?

Snake: hmm..smiles must of been a dream kid...lets go!

They move past the bushes and into a wide open area

Snake: hmm this is perfect for a sniper...watches Jecht run across the field and do cartwheels

Jecht: woohoo!!!!

Snake: ......cries why me!!!!!!

Jecht hears a loud shot and looks around, he then falls to the dirt in pain

Jecht: ah shit... a sniper...!!!

Snake: it wasn't a sniper, it was me you idiot...stop acting like a girl, we do have a mission...besides it wasn't a real bullet it was a rock you dumb foe!

as snake and Jecht talk, Jen is laying flat on top of a cliffs overhang, looks into her scope, points at jechts head and pulls the trigger but all of a sudden a deer jumps in the way and dies...she keeps trying to hit Jecht and snake but more animals jump in the way of the bullet to save Jecht...birds, bears, raccoons and flying squirrels

Jen: now that is some shit!!....hey where did they go?!?

Jecht: hahaha luckily she killed that bear...now we have the perfect disguise hahaha.

Jecht and snake had carven out the bears insides and wore him as a suit to escape

snake: wow great idea...man you are one sick guy...do you have some fetish with killing animals and wearing they're skin?

Jecht: hahaha ya something like that.

as they enter the jungle again they tear off the bear skin and see something big...but it was too dark to see what from all the smoke, soon the dust cleared

end scene

meanwhile Jen looking around confused thinks to herself.

Jen: I'm depressed where is a gigolo when ya need one.

suddenly she turns and see's someone walking down a hill, half ripped shirt carrying a very large gun and sweat dripping off his body, she draws her pistol as he approaches and they fire at each other missing each other every time with they're sleek elusive maneuvers, soon they both run out of bullets and run at each other, Jen throws J is the mud and as she's about to rip his heart out with her blade something comes over her and she falls helplessly to the power of the love puddle and goes down on J...both going at each other vigorously

Jen and J let it all out

Snake: what the hell was that?

Jecht: heh it's called a diversion or distraction...anyway I call it operation sexual desires...made the name up myself!

Snake: heh nice going so who else is up there with her?

Jecht: none other than my brother J!

soon from the torturous heat they both faint while still in the mud and Jecht runs back to take pictures to give to all Jen's family and friends

Jecht: heh total embarrassment.

Snake: ok lets get going

off in the distance they see the girls walking

Jecht: hey!! Michelle!

Jecht and Michelle run toward each other and fall into each others hands, while Natalie walks behind, they walk deeper into the jungle

end scene

the group finally reaches the base, they run behind the tree's to stay unseen and go in for a better look

Jecht: so how are we gonna get in, it looks pretty surrounded.

Snake: hmm we could all run at different directions and although most of us might get shot, one might be able to make it!

Jecht: well that's gotta be the most reckless plan I've ever heard...

Michelle: how about we just gun them down as in use our masterful sniper abilities.

J: brother....I've captured Jen but she as agreed to help us take out Lucas and the metal gear!

waves hand in front of Jen's face

Jecht:hello...wow brother you really hypnotized her didn't you?

J:you know it...I learned it all from you!

Jecht: of course you did...ok lets see, Michelle and Nat you got the left, Jen and J you got the right and me and snake got the middle....now when I say fire then take them out....FIRE!!!!!!

jen targets two soldiers who are directly lined up and fires a bullet from her well greases chamber and enters one solders head and out and into the other solders head, killing them both...Jecht shoots at one solder and blows both of his legs off, snake then kills the solder to stop the suffering and the rest take out they're target

Snake: must you be so cruel?

Jecht: you know me

they throw some chaff grenades to blind anyone watching and they run up to the side of the base out of the enemies sight

Jecht: guys after this there is no turning back...either we do this or I'll shoot you right now and we'll leave you, simple as that, nothing will stop us!

a solder stumble upon the group confused, Jecht takes out his knife and quietly slits his throat

Jecht: lets go!

Jecht plants some C4 on the side and blows a hole in the building and they enter

END SCENEJecht enters first to make sure everything is clear and everyone else follows

Jen: wow this is a huge base!!!

Jecht: um...we're only in the hallway...jeez!

they all see a door up ahead, Jecht approaches it and turns the knob slowly and...the door explodes...blowing Jecht back the opposite way, knocking him out cold

Mich: hey wake up!(shaking Jecht)

Snake: don't worry about him, he'll be fine, there is no time to wait.

Jen: we can't just leave him here, he'll die!

Nat: Snake is right, he'll be fine now come on, lock and load!

they all enter and see a guard listening to music on his headphones

Mich: WTF is this...he's gotta be the most unaware guard ever?

Jen: yea probably and because of that he's gone.

Guard:"Huh" did you hear something "?"

Jen: time for some fun heheh!

jen sneaks around and plants a C4 on the guards back.

Snake: wow this could be messy.

Guard: hey other guard what's that on your back.

KABLAMO body parts go flying everywhere and everyone gets drenched in blood

Jen: woohoo that was fun eh guys!

Mich: I'm all red!!!waaaaah!!

Nat: hey this is cool...makes me hungry pulls out snickers

Snake: ok lets go

Jecht awakes surrounded my naked women

Naked hot women: where is the continuem transfunctioner?

Jecht: is this...ohhh but I gotta...g.go...and...well I guess it can wait!

Jecht wakes up

Jecht: wahh a dream...I gotta cut down on those dirty movies.

Jecht wakes into the next room and seeing blood everywhere, dripping down every square inch of the walls

Jecht: oh shit it's Armageddon...waaaah falls to knee's spare me oh holy...

J: what the fuck are you doing bro?

Jecht: J are you a ghost?

J: what are you on foe? slaps Jecht

Jecht:ahhh thanks i needed that...you guys left me...your leader...you are all against me...now die ahhhhh!!!

all three girls approach Jecht in a very provocative manner, and dance dirtily and grab him

Jecht:hey what the...you traders...ahh shit...my ultimate weakness very hot women!

J:well dear brother looks like the tides have turned(English accent)

Jecht:dammmit.... they stun Jecht...and Jecht faints...out cold

J:throw him in the prison with the snake...we'll have some fun later...I'm off to plan for the launch with Lucas...the world will soon fall!

Jecht looses conciseness

END SCENE

Jecht awakens in a daze and see's snake in the corner standing

Jecht: snake what...the hell happened...

Snake: it's about time, you've been unconscious for just about a month.

jecht: what...

Snake: yeah so lets get out

Jecht: but how??? Jecht stands up and rests against the door and it fly's open...

snake:...........

Jecht:hey it's open hahaha...wow you must feel really dumb right about now.

Snake: ugh...are you done, lets go!

they both leave the holding area and walk up the stairs for 3 hours and finally find a door and open it...it's all clear

Jecht hey a bridge...it's quite...a little too quite...

Snake: where do you get your idiotic lines!?!?

they both start to cross and a Kasatka (Russian chopper) appears and fires it's rail gun, Jecht grabs snake to take all the bullets and makes it safely across discarding snake off the bridge

Jecht: sorry...old man your slowing me down!

as Jecht passes through the next door, he see's Natalie and Michelle lying against a wall and notices they're wounds...he removes his military shirt and shreds it with his knife and wraps them up and waits until they awaken

Jecht:hey wake up you too...snakes gone...he said something about wanting to take up free falling...so we're on our own.

Mich: sorry about before...we had no choice J had some kind of mind control on us.

Nat: yea...well we're wasting time here so lets go find J and put a hole in his head!!!

Jecht: patience my little mercenary...

after reuniting with each other they fine the elevator which will take them atop the base...but it was broken

Nat: dammit...piece of shit

Mich: hmm.... pounds buttons and it starts oh

Jecht:conscience...I don't like this.... meh...stupid conscience what do you know....don't worry girls it's safe.

elevator stops and a struggle commences and lights go out

end scene

more later...that's all I have at the moment


End file.
